I got up and walked down the hall to his room. I cracked the door ever so slightly and peeked in. He was wide awake, watching Curious George. "Hi, Daddy", he said innocently, standing up in his crib. "Hey buddy"...there was a weird smell in the room, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Something didn't look quite right, either.
I turned on the light. My son was sort of glowing. Maybe glimmering would be a more accurate description. And he looked wet all over, his hair matted down. Where did all this water come from???
I went over to him and touched his head. In horror, I drew back my hand, now covered in some sort of...goo. This goo covered him. It covered each and every possible surface of the crib. It covered his sheets. It covered all his stuffed animals. It was one of those kinds of messes that only a child can make. The kind of mess that takes lots of time and dedication. The kind that we'll be cleaning up for a long time.
I called for my wife. We both just stood there, looking down at the little grinning halfling that had wrought this destruction. All we could do was laugh. Well, laugh and take pictures with my cell phone.
He cried when I put him in the tub. He cried even more when Mockbamom tried diligently but unsuccessfully to scrape the Vaseline out of his hair. Eventually we gave up and ate dinner, his hair plastered to his head in a most unnatural fashion.
Thank goodness for the web. We looked up "how to get Vaseline out of hair", and found that this is a favorite of a lot of kids. Corn starch was the apparent antidote. We took turns alternately holding him in place in the kitchen and scrubbing the white powder into his locks. He cried again when I had to put him back in the tub to wash out the corn starch. It was only modestly successful. This is going to take a while, apparently. I think we are going to cancel his scheduled hair cut appointment for tomorrow. Unless, of course, they have some magical secret for getting out Vaseline. Never a dull moment, right?
